The Best Six Months of My Life

Benjamin’s six month birthday may not have gone as planned, but no matter where we are, we have plenty of reasons to celebrate.

The x-ray this morning unfortunately showed no change in Benjamin’s lung. So what do we do now? Well, they are trying a few techniques including decreasing the time Benjamin is allowed to exhale, and increasing the size of his trach to decrease the amount of air leakage. Hopefully, this will put more air into Benjamin’s lung and keep it there longer. He also had an ultrasound of his lungs today. I sat patiently as the techs mumbled, then stated they need to call the doctor. (Thanks for making me a little panicky.). Everything they found, we were already aware of except for a small amount of fluid in the base. They really need to practice their poker faces.

Benjamin looked really good this morning, smiling and playing with his hands, but after a short amount of time sitting up in a bouncer, he was worn out. The PT in me wants him to be moving. I mentioned to the nurse that I thought Benjamin was working a little harder. A resident stopped by (who had never met Benjamin), and told me that he pretty much looked about the same as what he had read and to let him know if he looked worse. I realize this poor kid is learning, but he needs to know to always listen to the woman who is with “your patient” 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Someone will surely tell him, but at the time, I knew Benjamin was ok, and I didn’t have the energy to teach him.

The last change today involved Benjamin’s blood pressure. Dr. Cunningham (with his adorable bowtie) stopped by and agreed it was time to start some blood pressure meds. I so worry about Benjamin’s little heart working so hard and hopefully this will give it the break it needs.

My little Buddy is comfortably positioned in his bed and just dozed off to sleep. He has been quite loud while he sleeps since his runny nose, but between that and the sounds of the machines, I find it very peaceful. It has given me some time to sit and reflect on the past six months, and how much Benjamin has changed our lives. He makes me want to be a better person, to live my life for others, to appreciate everything I have and everyone I know, to take things one second at a time, and to live life like today could be my last. I thank God everyday for the best six months of my life.

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