Early Friday morning, the lady who takes the blood pressure and temperature woke me up. She asked me if Benjamin’s sats usually sit that low. I jumped up rolled him over to suction him, and he was extremely pale. I called in the nurse and they called in the PICU physician. Another x ray was taken, and the bottom half of Benjamin’s left lung had collapsed again. Ughhh! They decided to increase the chest therapy, and they would round on him early in the morning to set up a game plan. Later on that morning, Benjamin was assessed by many people, including his Pulmonologist (he had been on vacation). I was so relieved to see him. His main concern was getting Benjamin out of the hospital. It was decided to go ahead and head home since everything that was being done at the hospital can be done at home. I was a little skeptical, but trusting our physician and knowing we were fully capable, I agreed and started packing up.
On the way home, Benjamin still looked pale and tired. I questioned my choice to take him home, and was overwhelmed with all the choices we have to make for Benjamin. I lost it, angry and upset. While most parents are deciding on what schools to send there children to, I am making decisions that affect Benjamin’s quality or quantity of life. KC consoled and reassured me that we were making all the best decisions for Benjamin. Though I am very optimistic and hopeful, I do have my moments. My moment had to be over as soon as we got out of the car, because it is no longer about me, it is about Benjamin, and making him comfortable at home. Home Sweet Home.
Well, I should have never doubted the pulmonologist, because Benjamin looks wonderful. He has really improved since being home. He is still on oxygen, but his heart rate has returned to normal, and he has started smiling, kissing, and playing again. Yesterday during his home speech session, he was able to vocalize the entire session. His speech therapist, who has been on maternity leave, was very impressed.
So how do we avoid this again? Well, I refuse to keep him locked up in his room, we will continue to get out, and we will continue to avoid people with illnesses. I am sure Lennon and Isla will also continue to bring home germs, so all we can do is pray and continue our excessive use of hand sanitizer.
Thank you so much for all the prayers. We are all happy to be home.