Right before Benjamin arrived home from the NICU, I had, what can only be described now as, a tantrum. going through Benjamin’s closet, I removed every set of long pajamas, upset that he would have to wear constant monitoring on his foot. (Long pajamas make wearing the monitor a little more difficult). At the time, I didn’t feel upset or angry, but now I do realize it was a bit dramatic.
For Christmas, one of Benjamin’s nurses bought him a one piece, long pajama outfit with spaceships on it. (Benjamin’s signature design) It was absolutely adorable, but some of those same feelings resurfaced. This time though, it was different. It reminded me not only how far Benjamin had come, but also how far I had come. This outfit served as a trophy, our reward for learning and growing together. (I know this may be difficult to understand for most, but for me it is very clear.)
This morning as Benjamin was lying on his pillow, I asked the girls if they had told Benjamin goodbye before school. Lennon leaned down, Benjamin extended his arm, and for the first time reached for Lennon. It may not have been a gentle touch, it was actually more like a slap, but it meant so much to Lennon and me. Such a beautiful moment, with such remarkable kiddos, in his awesome spaceship pajamas.