Sometimes, no matter how strong we think we are, something so unexpected tugs at our heart and can bring tears to our eyes. Holy week, it was a group of eighth graders that had me with my head down, fighting back tears.
At no point do I consider this a comparison, it only reminded me of crosses we all bear in life. The crosses that we watch our children carry though, seem to be the hardest. I was hesitant to share my feelings on this, but after watching Benjamin struggle with a simple cold for a week (a cold that barely affects my girls), it just seemed appropriate.
Holy Thursday, I attended a Passion Play presented by a group of eighth graders and the most precious Kindergartners as angels. I was completely fine until Jesus’ journey began with the cross. Watching Mary follow Jesus along his path with the pain Jesus endured, I couldn’t help but relate it to the struggles we have to watch our own children go through. Though there is truly no comparison, it was hard not to relate on some level. Benjamin, overall, is a very happy child, but there are times when he is ill that it’s hard to watch without being sad or feeling helpless. I can’t imagine how Mary must have felt, but this day, I felt like maybe some of us get a small glimpse.
As the Passion Play progressed, I recovered again until the image of Mary holding Jesus after his death. I have watched so many families lose their children, and this is the image, the day, I fear more than anything else. Thankfully, I am an optimistic and faith filled person, so the death of a child doesn’t consume me, but deep down I know there will be a day and the imagery of this moment was painful.
Though this brought up some painful feelings for me, just like The Passion Play, it’s not the end. I have met many children who are now angels and who made this world better than when they found it. I know Benjamin has changed us all for the better and I hope he is able to do the same for others. He is here for a purpose and we are blessed with him for a purpose. I know it’s not how long we live on this Earth, but what we do with our time here. Benjamin and his buddies have been making excellent use of their time. 🙂