Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed: to have a strong emotional effect on.

In the past month, we have bought a house, sold a house, moved, finished a playground, and graduated. I have been on the phone for hours changing addresses, changing companies, and arranging healthcare. I have been happy, sad, stressed, excited, anxious, and overwhelmed in a good way and in a not so good way. At least once a day I have to stop, breathe, and pray…pray for peace and calmness, but also pray in thanks for everything we have been given.

Last night, KC officially finished his residency, so we had a wonderful night out and my first night away from the kiddos in a long time. I am so proud of him, and it was so wonderful to be able to give my undivided attention to KC, since usually my attention is divided into 5. Before we headed home today, we were lucky enough to spend time with our friends over breakfast, then we were able to see a movie for our anniversary (a movie that was not a cartoon). 🙂

On our drive home, I reached over to KC and mentioned how lucky and blessed we are. I said we have a great life, great marriage, great kids, great jobs, and the list continues. Now, at no point do I think our life is perfect, but I think that since Benjamin has been born, I see things a little clearer. I thank Benjamin all the time for saving me, for bringing me closer to God, and for changing my life. I am definitely a work in progress, but with a much clearer goal. KC and our children are my life, and it’s crazy how much I miss them when I am away from them.

Though our life has definitely not turned out as we planned, I know it is His plan and therefore, I will try to keep my focus on being overwhelmed with the wonderful and joyous things in our life while trying to avoid being overwhelmed with earthly issues. All clouds have silver linings, and rainbows follow storms. It’s just crazy how sometimes we have to be negatively overwhelmed before we realize that we are also wonderfully overwhelmed.

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Me and the Boys

This week, my girls have been spending some quality time in the country with my family. They have been very busy with basketball camp, swimming, driving their Hummer around, and riding the four wheeler in the woods. At first, Isla was not sure about basketball camp, asking “Can I just watch Lennon at basketball camp because I don’t know anything about that?” She quickly learned a few things including how to shoot the ball. She is unable to get the ball to the goal, but Isla felt fully accomplished throwing the ball in the air and having one of the helpers put it in the goal for her. She clapped for herself every time. Lennon just couldn’t wait to call me to tell me that she could dribble AND run at the same time. I’m pretty proud since after all my years of basketball and three state championships, I still find that difficult. 🙂

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So this week, it has been me and the boys. They have spent more time together, but also more time one-on-one with me.

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Yesterday we were able to lay around in our pj’s all day. A rainy day was perfect for brotherly bonding.

What started off sweet…

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Quickly turned to this…

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And this…

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But ended with this…

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I love how Benjamin was reaching for Rush when he fell asleep. (Or maybe for his pacifier)

This morning we woke up and started to get ready for church. A small part of me wanted to give up and stay home, but I knew we could make it. With KC in residency, I have to do a lot of things on my own. This is something I was aware of going in and when making the decisions to have these four precious kiddos. Most of the time I feel like things are under control, but I always miss him knowing things would be easier if I wasn’t alone. Today, I was reminded I am never alone. Not only were we offered assistance from the moment we pulled up to the moment we left, I sat in church and was reminded that God is always with me. How else would I be able to do this?! He keeps me calm, sane, and patient through my most difficult times, and today, he stopped the rain before I had to load up the kids after church. I think he also gives KC comfort when he does have to be away from us, knowing that we are taken care of.

After mass, a close friend offered to help us get to the car. (Her hands are also full with a two year old and 5 month old) When I refused, she then offered to fluff my cape. 🙂 I’m honored, but any parent that brings their kiddos to church is a superhero, we just stand out a little more.

Thank you God for reminding me today that I am never alone and for holding my hand on this journey. 🙂